Modifying Emotional Reasoning in Decision Making: How Your Emotions Can Lead You Astray
- Chris Zhang
- 12 minutes ago
- 5 min read
Making decisions when we're feeling emotional can be tricky. When we're anxious, sad, or stressed, it’s easy to fall into the trap of thinking that our emotions are telling us the truth about a situation. For example, if you’re feeling anxious about something—like taking a flight—you might assume, “I feel so nervous, so it must be dangerous.” The issue with this kind of thinking is that emotions don’t always reflect reality, and relying on them too heavily can lead to poor decisions.
This tendency to make decisions based on our feelings is called “emotional reasoning.” Essentially, it’s when we let our emotional state guide our decisions, often making us overestimate risks or feel overly cautious or unsafe. It can also make us take risks we wouldn’t otherwise consider, especially when we associate pleasure with safety—like assuming that a fun activity (like partying, drinking, or even risky sexual behavior) is harmless just because it feels good in the moment.
How to Challenge Emotional Reasoning in Your Decisions
A good way to challenge this pattern is to slow down and take a step back when you’re feeling emotionally charged. Instead of jumping to conclusions, try to ask yourself some questions that can help you think more clearly:
How does my current mood affect how I’m seeing this situation?
If you’re feeling anxious or upset, are you overestimating the risks or thinking things are worse than they actually are?
What would I think if I were feeling happy or confident instead?
Imagine a time when you felt positive and empowered. If you could tap into that confidence, how might it change the way you see the decision you’re facing?
For example, let’s say you're feeling anxious about your son’s well-being. You might assume the worst, thinking something bad is happening, even if there's no solid evidence for it. A simple question like, "What makes me think this situation is as bad as I feel?" can help you step back from emotional reasoning and look for facts. You may realize your anxiety is amplifying your worries, and in reality, things might be improving.
Why Letting Go of Sunk Costs Can Be a Smart Move
Another decision-making trap we often fall into is the “sunk cost fallacy.” This is when we keep investing time, energy, or resources into something that isn’t working simply because we’ve already invested so much. The classic example: staying in a bad relationship because you’ve already spent so much time in it.
But here’s the key point: sometimes, cutting your losses can actually be the best decision for your long-term well-being. When you focus too much on what you’ll lose by walking away, you can miss the potential gains. If you’re stuck in a toxic situation, like an unhealthy relationship, walking away might mean gaining back your peace of mind, independence, and future opportunities.
Shifting your focus from loss to gain can sometimes make the difference between feeling trapped and feeling free. If you’re not careful, focusing only on the negatives of change can keep you in situations that are far more damaging in the long run. That’s why it’s crucial to ask yourself: What might I gain by letting go? How can making this change set me up for a healthier future?
Shifting Your Focus: Viewing Change as a Gain
We often fear change because we see it as a loss. This is totally natural—our brains are wired to avoid loss and seek stability. However, focusing only on what we stand to lose can cloud our ability to see the potential benefits of a change. This is where reframing comes in: instead of focusing on the downsides, try to also consider what you might gain from the change.
For example, in a relationship where there’s no trust or intimacy, the immediate loss of the relationship might feel overwhelming. But when you pause to think about it, you might realize you’re actually gaining freedom, emotional relief, and the possibility of healthier relationships in the future. If you’re holding on to something because you’re fixated on the loss, try balancing that perspective by imagining the freedom or new opportunities you could gain.
Recognizing that change involves both losses and gains helps you make more balanced, grounded decisions. By shifting your focus from loss to gain, you open the door to new possibilities and can start to move forward, instead of staying stuck in the past.
How Psychotherapy Can Help
Psychotherapy can be incredibly helpful when it comes to managing emotional reasoning and improving decision-making. In therapy, you can learn to identify when your emotions are taking over and clouding your judgment. A therapist can help you slow down and gain some perspective, teaching you techniques for making decisions that are less influenced by temporary moods.
One common approach is cognitive-behavioral therapy (CBT), which focuses on recognizing and challenging distorted thinking patterns—like emotional reasoning. Through CBT, you can learn to recognize when you’re using your emotions as evidence of reality (e.g., "I feel anxious, so something bad must be happening") and replace those thoughts with more balanced and realistic perspectives.
In therapy, you can also explore deeper questions around emotional reasoning, like: Why do I fear change? Why do I hold on to things that are no longer serving me? By answering these questions, you can gain valuable insight into your patterns of thinking and decision-making. Over time, you’ll learn to challenge these patterns and make decisions based on a more accurate understanding of reality, rather than being guided by emotional reactions alone.
Therapists also provide a safe space where you can practice reframing your mindset, especially when it comes to difficult decisions. When you’re feeling overwhelmed, they can help you see the positives of a situation that might seem all negative at first glance.
In summary, psychotherapy can equip you with the tools and strategies needed to navigate emotional reasoning, recognize when emotions are distorting your thinking, and make more thoughtful, informed decisions. By developing awareness of how emotions influence your choices, you can start making decisions that are healthier, more aligned with your long-term goals, and ultimately lead to a more fulfilling life.
A Final Thought on Emotions and Decision Making
Ultimately, emotions are a natural part of decision-making, but they don’t always give us the full picture. While it’s important to acknowledge and feel our emotions, it’s equally important to recognize when they’re influencing our choices in ways that aren’t helpful. By slowing down, reframing, and challenging emotional reasoning, you can start making decisions that are more grounded in reality, rather than being swayed by the ups and downs of your feelings.
Next time you face a tough decision, take a moment to check in with yourself: Are your emotions guiding you toward a clear and balanced choice, or are they steering you off course? The more we learn to tune into both our emotions and the facts, the better equipped we’ll be to make decisions that lead to long-term well-being.
This approach of slowing down, examining both the emotional and logical sides of a decision, and considering the balance of loss and gain can be a game-changer. By practicing these techniques, we can break free from emotional reasoning and make decisions that align with our best interests.
References
Cognitive Therapy Techniques
Pages 214 - 218
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