Decision making shapes so many parts of our lives—from what to eat for dinner to which job to pursue or even whether to end a relationship. It’s at the heart of our daily experiences and can greatly impact our mental health. When we're feeling depressed, indecisiveness can become a significant barrier. We might procrastinate on important choices, paralyzed by the fear of making the wrong decision. Anxiety, on the other hand, often leads us to avoid situations that cause discomfort, fearing outcomes that may never happen.
Many people, especially those dealing with substance use issues, find themselves stuck in a cycle of short-term thinking. They might focus on immediate feelings rather than considering long-term consequences, which can lead to poor choices. Understanding how we make decisions—and the common pitfalls we face—can help us make better, more adaptive choices.
Rethinking Decision-Making Models
Traditionally, decision-making models assumed that people are rational and have all the information they need. However, research shows that this isn’t always the case. We often rely on mental shortcuts, or heuristics, to make quick decisions, which can sometimes steer us in the wrong direction.
For instance, one common strategy is the “satisficing” rule: “I’ll stop searching for the best option once I find something that’s good enough.” Imagine you’re at a diner, short on time, and you need to choose from a long menu. You might decide to pick a familiar dish that meets your basic needs instead of spending too long comparing every option. This can save time but might also lead you to miss out on better choices.
Another key concept is “loss aversion,” where the pain of losing something feels more intense than the joy of gaining something of equal value. For example, many people would prefer to avoid a sure loss of $500 rather than risk a 50% chance of losing $1,000—even though both choices have the same expected value. This bias can cloud our judgment and lead to decisions driven by fear rather than opportunity.
We also tend to overvalue things we already possess. This “endowment effect” can make us reluctant to let go of relationships, investments, or opinions, even when they’re no longer serving us well. It’s a common pattern in depression, where individuals might hold onto unfulfilling situations because they feel attached to them.
The Role of Emotion in Decision Making
Emotions play a huge role in how we make decisions. If we’re feeling anxious, we might focus too heavily on recent negative events—like a news story about a plane crash—overestimating the risks involved in similar situations, such as flying. This can create a cycle of worry that inhibits our ability to act.
When dealing with anxiety or depression, it’s crucial to examine our beliefs about risk. People with these conditions often feel they have fewer resources or opportunities and may be overly focused on potential negative outcomes. This can lead to overly cautious decision-making, where the fear of regret outweighs the possibility of positive experiences.
A Better Approach: Long-Term Thinking
Many of us get caught up in short-term goals, focusing on immediate gratification. For example, someone might choose to binge-watch a show instead of going for a run. While the immediate comfort feels good, it often leads to long-term consequences like weight gain or a lack of energy.
To counteract this, it’s helpful to identify both short-term and long-term goals. Reflecting on what truly matters in our lives—whether it’s health, relationships, or career aspirations—can provide motivation to push through the discomfort of working toward those longer-term objectives.
Questions to Consider
Think about how you approach decision making in your own life. Are you often drawn to the allure of immediate pleasure? What long-term goals are you prioritizing, and how do your short-term decisions align with those goals?
Here’s a conversation you might have with yourself:
You: “I really want to eat that ice cream right now because it feels good.”
Self-Reflection: “But how much pleasure will that give me? How will I feel afterward? Is that fleeting happiness worth it?”
Balancing immediate desires with future aspirations can help cultivate a more fulfilling life.
Taking Action
Try identifying a few long-term goals that matter to you—like improving your health or building better relationships. Then, each day, choose small actions that align with those goals, even if they feel uncomfortable at first.
Homework: Reflect on the costs and benefits of your daily choices. How do they impact your short-term comfort versus your long-term happiness?
Remember, making decisions that might feel tough now can lead to great rewards in the future. And like any new habit, sticking to long-term goals gets easier with time.
How Therapy Can Help
Therapy can be a powerful tool for improving your decision-making skills. A therapist can help you gain insight into your thought patterns and the emotions that influence your choices. By exploring past decisions and their outcomes, you can identify where biases or irrational fears may be impacting your current decision-making process.
In a therapeutic setting, you’ll learn strategies to challenge unhelpful beliefs, develop healthier coping mechanisms, and create a clearer picture of your goals. This process often involves setting small, achievable targets that align with your long-term aspirations, helping you practice delaying gratification in favor of more meaningful rewards.
Therapists can also provide a safe space to discuss your fears and anxieties related to decision making. By articulating your concerns, you may find that they become less daunting. With support, you can build confidence in your ability to make informed choices and take calculated risks.
Ultimately, therapy encourages a more balanced approach to decision making—one that considers both short-term desires and long-term goals. This can lead to a more fulfilling and empowered life, where you feel equipped to navigate the complexities of your choices.
Let’s embrace the journey of decision making together, focusing on both the short and long term!
Conclusion
Decision making is a complex process that impacts nearly every aspect of our lives, especially our
mental health. By understanding the common pitfalls—such as short-term thinking, loss aversion, and emotional biases—we can begin to make more informed and empowering choices. Therapy offers valuable support in this journey, helping you navigate your thoughts and emotions while building a framework for better decision making.
As you work on aligning your daily choices with your long-term goals, remember that growth takes time and practice. Embrace the process, celebrate small victories, and be kind to yourself along the way. Ultimately, cultivating the ability to make decisions that honor both your immediate needs and future aspirations can lead to a more satisfying and fulfilling life. You have the power to steer your own path—let's take those steps together!
References:
Cognitive Therapy Techniques
Pages 202 - 207
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